Colorado Woman Subject of Alien Attack

An unidentified Colorado woman was found this morning in a chilly bedroom lying uncovered on her bed wearing only a thin nightgown. "It was the aliens," she told our reporter, "the little grey ones. They stole all of my blankets. I don't know why they wanted them. They never spoke to me." The woman's husband, snuggled in a cocoon of covers on the other side of the bed, declined comment. The victim is recovering well after a hot shower and a cup of coffee.